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Have you ever brushed your hair and brushed up against a hidden truth about your past? That's exactly what happened to me, Jenny, and it's a tale I unravel with my daughter in our latest heartfelt podcast discussion, where laughter intermingles with the poignant threads of my life story. Join us as we peel back the layers of my childhood memories, shedding light on the early inklings of my adoption—inklings that came from the absence of baby photos and dreams of crying infants and comforting angels. Our candid conversation takes you on a journey through the subconscious clues that pointed me toward the truth, fostering a space for connection and discovery.
This episode is a tapestry of emotions, woven with stories that capture the rollercoaster ride following my adoption revelation. You'll hear about the varied reactions, from a neighbor's astonishment to a school friend's disbelief, and how I navigated the shifting societal attitudes toward adoption. My daughter and I explore the deep issues of identity and family bonds, discussing how we come to terms with life's unpredictable paths. Subscribe and become a part of our ongoing narrative, as we share more stories that celebrate the joy and connection found in storytelling.
If you're interested in sharing your stories, click here https://listeningthroughwalls.buzzsprout.com to go to our webpage and email me and we may read listener's emails in the future. Thank you
00:05 - Uncovering Hidden Adoption Stories
05:08 - The Dream
15:19 - Adoption and Angels
Welcome to Listening Through Walls Adoption Hidden Stories. I'm Jenny, your host. Join me and my daughter as we uncover my journey, from discovering I was adopted to the meetings with my biological family. It's a tale of mystery, identity and connection, all revealed at our table. Let's dive into these hidden stories together. Okay, first of all, did you know that? When did I tell you that I knew that I was adopted?
Daughter:I think I've been known for like a good year. No, when did I? Tell you that I knew, oh, when you were like 13.
Jenny:Oh you actually listen? Okay, yes, but do I tell you stories about how, like I kind of knew before, do I tell you about any of that, I think partially, but I might not remember at all. So I remember one time. Does he tell you the story about? When I was looking in the mirror one time and I looked into my eyes no, okay, that's brilliant. So yeah, it is weird, so okay. So one time I was in my parents' bathroom, in the back bathroom. It was just a random day, like, but I remember exactly what I was wearing a blue shirt, blue jeans. Dang, it's like yeah, it's like I remember I was brushing my hair and I remember my parents and my brother in the kitchen. Clearly, the kitchen was to my right of me because I'm using my hands. Yeah, nobody can see you, Nobody can see you, but you can, and I talk with my hands, so nobody else can see me, but you can see me. Yeah, she's pointing to the left. No, it's right. No, I know, it's your left, it's a joke.
Daughter:Well, I know, it's my left.
Jenny:You're right, okay so, anyway, to the right is the kitchen. Yeah, but it was way down, the only opposite side of the house, so I could hear everybody talking and laughing. And then, all of a sudden, like I hear this voice inside of me that just says they're different than you. Oh yeah, that's weird, yeah, and so I'm like I look at myself in the mirror, like in my eyes, which is even weirder, right.
Daughter:Let me get a deep connection with myself. Yes, who are you?
Jenny:Yes, yes. And then I'm like what, like, what does this mean? And then I'm like that's weird. Then I just forget about it. But still to this day I remember that Right, like so clear. But at that point I didn't even know I was adopted. So see, did you know that story? Not in. See, see, see. You don't know everything. So then, right. So then I remember being at friends houses and then they would look at baby pictures. Oh, and you don't have any. I don't, I don't have any baby pictures.
Daughter:And I remember they're supposed to take a picture of you when you're little?
Jenny:No. And I remember they would flip through the pages. And then it occurred to me one day oh, I never saw any baby pictures of myself. It just occurred to me one day and then I was like I should probably ask mom about this. So then I remember one day coming home from piano lessons, I said I was really nervous. But then I go like I was gonna ask mom, but then she goes what? And I said oh, I forgot because I was scared, yeah. So then I convinced myself in my head like I'm sure the camera was just broken. I'm sure they just didn't have one.
Daughter:It wasn't invented when I was born.
Jenny:Like all the cameras in the world were broken at that time.
Daughter:It was just a rough era. Good like three years.
Jenny:Even though they had baby pictures of my brother, who was eight years older.
Daughter:But to be fair, he's 10 years older than you, so maybe in his era it did work.
Jenny:Oh, and did I ever tell you the dream I had?
Daughter:I think I told you about the dream, maybe About the angel?
Jenny:No, no, I didn't tell you about the dream.
Daughter:Well, let's hear it.
Jenny:Buckle up, hold on tight, ok. So one morning I woke up and mom would always sit at the at the table reading her newspaper, because back then we didn't have the internet. They still have newspaper, well, that's true. So she would always read the newspaper, have her coffee, and I would always sit at the kitchen bar and I said, mom, I had this really weird dream. And it's not like I woke up and told her my dreams every day, but that day I did, because it was really weird.
Daughter:Yeah.
Jenny:So she said Well, what, what was it? And I said Well, it was so weird that it was more like a picture than a dream. Are you sure I never told you this? Yes, mm, hmm. So so she said OK, well, explain. So I said All right. So I saw this bench and this. It was kind of foggy and dark, and then there was a sidewalk that was going to curvy, there was grass, there was a building, there was a short tree and then there was a baby on this bench and it was crying. And I said and I said I guess it was crying because it fell off or something. I don't know, I know I don't know why it was crying. I said I don't know, maybe it fell off or something, so so then. But then an angel came and picked it up and then it stopped crying, and then that was my entire dream.
Daughter:Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was like you.
Jenny:Yes, but I didn't know that at the time. Well, yeah, but like so then, I didn't know this at the time either, but mom was freaking out.
Daughter:Well, yeah, because she's like she knows something. Yeah, I know something, we don't.
Jenny:Yes, because so she was like oh so, what did the angel look like? And I was like, oh well, it was really tall, it was taller than the trees. And she was like, oh OK, what is she flipping through? You flipping through the newspaper?
Daughter:Yeah, maybe I should get her something. Oh, so I'm just going to sit my coffee.
Jenny:So what I didn't know. Till later, till after, you know, everything came out. Mom told me that that night, when dad came home, that they went in the room and was like oh my God. She told dad like this is what she told me. Do you think she knows? And he was like I don't think so. She seems a little clueless, like how do I think she even knows she's adopted? Like like I don't think she knows anything, but I don't even think she knows what adoption is. OK, so then fast forward, because that was when I was probably. I had that dream when I was probably about nine. So then, when I was around 12, mom kept coming to me and she was like, hey, when you have a few moments a free time, I need to talk to you about something. And I was like, ok. So that made me really nervous and I mean, wouldn't you be really nervous if I came to you?
Daughter:like that. I need to talk to you.
Jenny:I mean, it's not like I was going anywhere, I wasn't busy, so like, why didn't you talk about something really serious? So what, I avoided her for the next week. So then don't make your room. So then it was my 13th birthday. So then for my birthday, she made me my favorite dinner and we all sat around the table.
Daughter:She's getting prepared.
Jenny:Yes, so we were all sitting at the table. And then you know this story.
Daughter:You don't know this story. I thought you figured it out on your own.
Jenny:Oh no, I was totally an idiot.
Daughter:Oh, I thought, because didn't you look at letters? Or like like, didn't you find your adoption papers?
Jenny:Oh shush, I guess we'll leave it. I guess, no, I guess we'll leave it in here as a Teaser. Teaser, yes, you're like. Oh my gosh, ok, so no, I'm just confused. So no, I had no idea. I must not appear to have this Exactly. So, a Saturday, we sat around the table and then so she started telling me how this was.
Daughter:After we ate, this is dessert conversation after you had your favorite meal in your entire world. I'm gonna ruin it for you. So I hope you enjoyed it because you're probably not gonna be able to eat for the next couple days.
Jenny:So she said, hmm, she was telling me how she couldn't. She wasn't supposed to be able to have kids and it was a miracle that she had. My brother and I was like okay, and then she started crying. So then that made me nervous, because I've never really seen her cry. Yeah, she said he was a miracle, I just Stop right now. So but you know, you know me, me like she's not the type to cry. So when I saw her crying, that scared me really bad, yeah cuz. Then my mom was just like, oh my god, why are you crying? Even though she was telling me why she was crying Because she was telling me a story, oh yeah. But I was just like, oh my god, why are you crying? Why are you crying?
Daughter:Oh about how, like my head, like right.
Jenny:And she was building up to something. But in my head I'm just like, oh my god, where's why she crying? Why is she crying? Oh my god, oh my god. So then all I hear is so then we went and adopted a little girl. Oh, oh. So then, what do you think I did? I'll tell you what I did. I got excited.
Daughter:Oh, you thought they adopted another girl. You said, oh, I'm gonna have a baby sister. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Oh, I'm gonna have a baby sister.
Jenny:That's exactly what I thought. So I looked at the hallway entrance. Oh my god, I was like oh, and then I didn't see nobody. And so then I looked at the doorway and then I didn't see anybody. Oh that's so sad. And then I looked at dad and I said so, where's? Oh? Oh, that's me. And then I thought to myself, dad explains a lot. I said then so mom was still crying and I was just stunned. But then so many things came to my mind. So then all of a sudden, like everything came rushing through my mind, like how, like the mayor situation, so, and then how I didn't have any baby pictures, like so many things. I'm like, oh, that makes sense. And then how I don't look like anybody in my family, I'm like, yeah, that makes sense now too. So well, actually I had never really thought about that.
Daughter:About what.
Jenny:How I don't look like anybody in my family. What color eyes does Mimi have?
Daughter:Brown, oh yeah, and Papi has brown too.
Jenny:Yes, oh, and I have blue eyes and Mimi Dyes her hair blonde. She has jet black hair, oh so you thought like Right, no, she's fake Right she's like no, she has Indian in her. Yeah, like I'm fair skin. Well, yeah, she's like tan.
Daughter:Yeah, you're like a pale and I'm like, oh, I'm adopted? Oh, we're not even the same color, actually Great.
Jenny:So then Hold on pause, pause, okay so back to where were we?
Daughter:we? Were you connected all the dots?
Jenny:Yeah, connected all the perfect way to sum it up. So I connected all the dots, so then I was just staying in there, so anyway. So then dad is we're giving everybody hugs and then dad's like do you have any questions? I'm like no, because this was news to me. I thought I was related to you folks. Because I was just shocked, like I had no idea what to even ask, and then Mimi is over there crying so so I just decided I'm not gonna, I'm just not gonna look into this till I get older, because I'm just gonna be a normal teenager. Because it was just too much, too much. But I was like you know what? I can't wait to tell my friends tomorrow I have a cool story. I'll have a cool story. Yeah, because guess what guys? I'm adopted I mean I'm cooler than y'all. I mean I had to share with somebody, right? Yeah, I mean wouldn't you feel like that? Yeah, like you had to share.
Daughter:If I found out I was adopted, I'd be like guys, I'm adopted.
Jenny:Okay, well, the only problem with that well, I'm assuming this is the problem with that my mom, mimi, was a substitute teacher. Well, you would think that wouldn't be a problem, yeah, but here's what happened. So, the first thing, the first person I told, so I went to the bus stop, very first person, I told my next door neighbor and he didn't believe me. No, he said uh-uh you're lying. He didn't believe me. And then, before we got on the bus he turned around and he said I wouldn't go around telling people that if I were you, why, I don't know. I think he thought I was making it up, oh, and I was so confused so I was just thinking okay. And then I was like, well, maybe because my mom's a substitute teacher and people think maybe we look alike Because we have blood hair, yeah, so I don't know. So I'm like, hmm, I guess I'll just tell one other person and see what they think. So, um, I told my friend at lunch we were walking to lunch and she always thought I was funny. I don't know why she was and she was. I couldn't believe she was my friend. Oh, because she was one of the most popular girls in school and I was not so. But she always laughed at me, but not in a bad way Like, laugh, like, like, like, like I don't joke. She always thought I was funny. So I mean, anyways, I told her and she left at me. Oh, and she told me I was Good joke. She thought I was. She goes, you're so funny.
Daughter:I'm gonna use that one on my next friend. Thank you for the idea.
Jenny:I was like I'm not joking, okay, and she just kept saying so. That was a point when I was just like, okay, I guess I'm just not gonna tell anybody. Was it normal to be?
Daughter:adopted. No, like people just didn't talk about that.
Jenny:I guess not.
Daughter:I Guess I'm gonna be normalized now, but like or not normalized, but it's like if someone is like that.
Jenny:I do think that is true. I do think that it is more of an open topic now than it was before. That that is a good point. I didn't. I never thought I put that.
Daughter:I do think I don't think people talked about it as much, then I mean people won't talk about it like to random people, but they'll talk about it with their friends.
Jenny:Hmm, I'll talk about it to anybody.
Daughter:Well, some people don't like to share that to everyone.
Jenny:I would get on a podcast to share it.
Daughter:But now it's like nobody's gonna laugh at you for being adopted. They're not gonna be like You're adopted. That's hilarious. Yeah, it's weird to think about Like. Oh, that kind of sucks yeah.
Jenny:I'm maybe. Yeah, it's. That's weird to think about how nobody believed me, because I think nowadays like People would believe you, so I gotta get an order from McDonald's. Anyway, where were we? So but that is a really good point. Um, I think now people talk about it a lot more. I think maybe people are adopted more.
Daughter:Well, well, I mean our neighbor. Yeah, people foster, a lot.
Jenny:Yes, so yeah, but then it didn't make. She wonder is that because, like our kids, neglected more these days, or hey?
Daughter:Seriously, it's probably because it it can probably happen, because that's a hard topic. Like Probably because, like some people don't want to get an abortion, so they just put them up for adoption. Like some people are like no, I don't like that, or like I don't want to do that, like they should just go to a different life or they just have a baby, like by accident Looks like I can't have this, but it is going to talk about now.
Jenny:I guess people didn't talk about.
Daughter:Um, but it's like it's good that people do that, because it's like if you know that they're not gonna be in a good home, then like it's good that that's an option. Like it's not that you don't love them, it's just right you actually do love them to put them in a.
Jenny:I know I'm matching. That's actually probably a hard, a Very hard thing to do. I don't know, maybe some people was not, because some people kill their babies.
Daughter:But also on, like the topic of like abortion, like some people view it as, like it's not actually like a baby whenever it's like Little yeah, but like. Also, people view it as it could be a baby, right? So it's like Right it's a little iffy iffy. It depends on the situation.
Jenny:Mm-hmm. So anyways, back to my story. Anyways, so, but you know, but for the most part I did not talk to anybody until you just talk to those two people and then you're like, okay, yeah, I thought nobody's gonna believe me, but you know, um, you know who my best friend was? Yeah, we should probably give her a different name. Well, what call her? Mindy.
Daughter:We'll call her Mindy. We'll call it. What's it? Like? A, like a basic white girl name Like. We'll call her Emily, no, mindy.
Jenny:Okay, no, I will call her Mindy. So I hate to Emily's. Yeah, no, hey, emily's. Okay so, but you know she was actually my best friend, so I actually admit her. I Didn't have junior high, we have middle school.
Daughter:Yeah, well, that's how most people are.
Jenny:It's yeah Middle school but we were just kind of Friends in middle school but then we became best friends in high school. But so around high school is the way I told her. So we had a lot of conversations about that and I'm gonna bring that up because that becomes very important later on. As as far as a coincidence that occurred. Oh, yes, noted, yes, note that, write it down, get a piece of paper and write it down right now it's very important that of all the people in the world, she became my best friend. because Hmm, I don't really want to say, because then I'll run part of yeah, let's sorry, so maybe for this We'll end here and then we'll pick up. Next time I'll leave you on a cliffhanger. Yeah well, hmm, not a great cliffhanger. Okay, are you surprised by anything that I told you?
Daughter:Like what are you? Oh, like by the like any other stories. Yeah, I'm surprised by the dream. The dream thing is interesting.
Jenny:Yeah, yes, you pretty much predicted the future.
Daughter:Yes, I did Like predicted the past without knowing or no, like your dream showed you your past without you even. Yeah, that is crazy.
Jenny:And you know what I think is also crazy about that is because if you hear other stories, they say that angels are really big.
Daughter:Oh yeah, no, have you seen like biblically accurate, like Depictions? Yeah, with the big eyeballs? No, I don't know about big Scary, because they're supposed to oh, I did see that because they're supposed to scare off devils.
Jenny:Yeah, and that's why they say, yeah, I do hear about that. That's why they say like, do not be afraid. They're like a protector. Um oh, Are we talking about two different things?
Daughter:Well, like angels are supposed to protect you, like you and like, oh yeah, you know, but like it's like supposed to like scare off People, but like, if you are scared, I don't know, like if you, I have seen the pictures like I have seen.
Jenny:Yeah, show me something. And then I'll say, oh, yeah, talk to Siri.
Daughter:Accurate angel Photos oh, they have videos, like they have like 3d models of it, like they have like this yeah, I have seen that.
Jenny:And then the theory is that's why they say in the Bible when they show up, yeah. And the theory is that's why they say when they show up, do not be afraid. Yeah, you know. But that's not what I saw in my dream.
Daughter:I well, it was just like. It's like the basic, like Angel, like the lady with the wings, yes, but it was just enormous. But I feel like there might be different types of angels.
Jenny:Yes, I feel like that too. Maybe we should research that. I don't feel like it, though. Do you feel like it? Not really either. We're gonna.
Daughter:Off. So anyway, like I feel like there might be like like you know how like ants have different jobs. Sure, you're like Like they're all like the same thing but they do different. They like how, like one ant will like protect the queen and there's one queen Right like the queen would be good analogy.
Jenny:And then like what?
Daughter:The king. But like, like you know what I was saying, like, and there's not, I do. Protectors an ant colony like I'm not saying they're ants, but like there's.
Jenny:I don't know why I'm laughing, because it does make perfect. I'm just picturing an ant with angel wings, okay, hey, you know what I sometimes wonder, like. I wonder if, like are people that adopt or adopted? I wonder, do they have a sense that they are adopted, like like that dream per se, or Am I just like partly psychic?
Daughter:I Mean, I feel like some people are better at putting puzzles together, like I feel like they could just be like oh, I don't look like this person. Like maybe on the Funny you should stay. Or oh, I don't have any child photos, that's strange. But like in the moment you kind of are just like, logically, you're like maybe they just never showed me any right, like maybe they just like you, just like think like positively You're just like right.
Jenny:Maybe it's not that I mean, while God is like hello hello that this is you. It really makes you wonder, because it really does seem like something more, whether it be God or something spiritual. Was Trying to tell me I was adopted something, but but for what purpose? Like, what did it? Well, it's just for your not like.
Daughter:I mean, I mean, it doesn't really like you know, but then, but then it doesn't change the fact that you're adopted right.
Jenny:But then it makes me wonder, like To all the people that are adopted, do they all have that something?
Daughter:well, some detail them and get told earlier, like some people are just like yeah like once I get a consciousness. They're like you're adopted.
Jenny:Okay, well, and Mimi's defense. They did try, but and then okay, this is another story they did try to tell me because they said we painted shirts, and then they tried to tell me, like I had two moms, oh, so it was supposed to be like one of those surprise things.
Daughter:No, it wasn't a surprise like a play.
Jenny:They tried to make it fun and like no, but they just tried to like, get my attention. Because I was young, you know, like hey, we're trying to tell you something. You have two moms, and because I was real little and they wanted to tell me, well, I Didn't get it. Yeah, I didn't understand my response.
Daughter:What my I don't think any like six
Jenny:I said um okay can I go outside and play now? And and looking back, like when they told me looking back, I do remember painting the shirts and I remember dad, sitting like face-to-face would be in telling me something important. But I remember thinking I have no idea what he's telling me.
Daughter:Well, how old were you? I Think I was like five, yeah, so like a six-year-old isn't gonna like comprehend, I feel like a nine or ten, like you would be like Well, no cuz, you would just be confused. You would just be like two moms, okay.
Jenny:Yeah, I would think that maybe, maybe kids are just smarter these days though.
Daughter:I mean, some kids are really smart like I, I, it just depends.
Jenny:I don't know. I feel like I was kind of a dumb kid.
Daughter:But also it's now. I do think that kids are smart. I feel like I was a really dumb kid, like God was putting everything he had, but I think that's also where like the iPad thing comes in play, like, oh yeah, like Bubba, he watches his educational stuff all day long by the epidermis. Yeah, but you didn't have iPads.
Jenny:No, I didn't even have that internet till I was in highschool and it barely worked. Whatever that noise was the dial up that's a terrible tone for like.
Daughter:No, I just don't think any six-year-old would be able to just be like I'm adopted, right, like, unless you're like being told. Even if you are being told that you're adopted at, yeah, you're gonna be like okay.
Jenny:Yeah, that's true, because even when I understood I was still like, okay, good night. Yeah, thank you. Hey, dad's like, do you have any questions? No, thanks for the birthday dinner. It was really good. Anyway, I guess we'll end it there and then next week we'll talk about let's see what happens after this, I Guess, and high school after you tell your friends and they all laugh at you.
Daughter:Being adopted, yeah, no, the story must go on when.
Jenny:oh shoot, I wasn't supposed to say your name Me me and Mindy talk, try.
Daughter:You just changed the first letter.
Jenny:What happened was in high school me and me and Mindy talked about it a lot. Well, not a lot because we were just like every day teenagers, but Every now and then we would talk about it, you know, and just wonder like, ooh, I wonder what happened.
Daughter:You know, that's how me and my friend is yeah, so anyways.
Jenny:So then in college is when it gets crazy, because that's when that's when I meet somebody that tells me that I have adoption papers.
Daughter:And wasn't that? Okay, we're just gonna leave it there.
Jenny:Yeah, this is Jenny signing off from today's podcast. Thank you for joining me on this personal journey and being a part of my story. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any part of this journey. Your support and feedback mean the world, so please leave a review and share this podcast with others who might enjoy a good story and some laughs. Remember, every story has its mysteries, but it's the connections and laughter that truly brings them to life. Until next time, keep listening for those hidden stories surrounding us all you.